Season 2007-2008

NEWCASTLE UNITED

0 v 3

LIVERPOOL

Steve Gerrard 28
Dirk Kuyt 46
Ryan Babel 66

Post Match Comments:

Newcastle assistant boss Nigel Pearson:
"It was a poor performance from us but I thought they were exceptional and we have to put matters right. We have to work hard and stay with each other and it will happen, there is no place to hide and we don't plan to. We must put these kind of performances behind us because they are not up to the standard we expect from ourselves."

Liverpool boss Rafael Benitez:
"The performance was almost perfect. The team played really well and with a lot confidence and they passed the ball around well and kept a clean sheet. Our team has kept the momentum and there are a lot of players performing and it's the kind of display that you want to see."

I know what I want for Christmas. A thesaurus.  I'm going to run out of different ways of saying we were utterly shite before long.

Again our team looked quite good on paper.  There was definitely our best defence on the pitch, our best keeper between the sticks and our best pair up front.  Unfortunately our midfield was utterly decimated by Gerrard and Sisoko.

The middle line was too lop sided.  With Geremi having no cover in front of him, and he knows he's got no pace, there was no supply down that side.  The Toon pushed first Nicky Butt then Alan Smith over to ease the pressure but they both got dragged into the centre.  What we needed was a right winger on the pitch. Someone like James Milner, but that seems a bit obvious for Big Sam. The left side of midfield was left out in the cold. When the ball did eventually get over there, both Zogs and Enrique had two right boots on, as their touch and passing where utterly shit. With the midfield being so utterly shit Martins was having to come looking for the ball, leaving Viduka up front on his tod for most the match.

Their first goal was inevitable.  We couldn't get out our half and they where getting corners and free kicks near constantly.  With nearly half an hour gone Steve Gerrard blasted home a free kick.  Given had no chance. Liverpool continued to give us a lesson in football. We just couldn't get near the ball and when, by some miracle, we did managed to get our foot on it we passed it straight to a Liverpool player.  With no help being forth coming from our midfield the defence was slowly getting stretched apart.  Given was called into making desperate runs to cover our back line and on one occasion he was forced into handling the ball a mile outside the box.  How he got away with it I just divint kna.

What was surprising was how long it took for Liverpool to get their second.  At the end of the first half a lot of the fans had gone down to get a stiff drink, as our first half performance was leaving nerves frayed and tempers boiled.  Most of them hadn't got back to their seats when that man Gerrard whipped a free kick in to Dirk Kuyt who simply tapped it past the 4 Toon shirts on the goal line to make it two nil. A good number of the fans simply turned around and walked out.  Who could blame them, we still hadn't had a shot on goal.

For some unbeknown reason Sam thought it would now be a good time to take off Emre and put Barton on. At least Emre was making the effort, but Barton just disappeared.  Ten mins later James Milner started getting warmed up. Get in! Alan Smith must be coming of, apart from that shot in the first half he's been utterly shit. Nope.  Zogs was taken off. The crowd went f'ing ape shit, with chants of “Y' don't know what y' doing” echoing round the ground.  Yeah Zogs wasn't having a great game but at least with two wingers on the pitch we could have pulled them around a bit. Nope, Milner took his now customary place on the left and did utterly shit.  Liverpool's third goal, on 66 mins, came from that side and, to be honest, it was a touch of class.  They strung together 10 or so passes, making mince meat of our whole team, and it left Babel another easy tap in.

Sam had to bring an attacking player on to at least get their keeper to work for his wages. With Shovel on the bench it was an obvious choice.  So he brought Carr on....for Enrique.  Carr, a right back, being brought on for a left back. Maybe Geremi was going to get pushed into midfield and make it 3 across the back. We've got nowt to loose. Nope, that would be to obvious to, as Carr jogged over to the left back position and, like the rest of the team, played utterly shite.

With 86 mins gone we eventually started playing football.  There was an actual shot on goal! But it was met with silence as there was only 4 Toon supporters left in the ground. I had to stay coz I was giving someone a lift and he had to stay coz he was getting a lift and he could get a signal on his phone to tell me he'd had enough. Maybe the other two fans had the same problem. 

Looking on the bright side, if Torez hadn't have been utterly shite it would have been 8 nil; and we didn't get stuffed 7 – 1.

We were utterly shite.
 

AUSSIE MAGS By Rogue Pieman